As a little girl I was very sheltered and so I could not wait until I ‘grew up’. Sure enough that time came and I was having the time of my life. I was basically doing everything that I figured would make me happy. Especially seeing I no longer had the restraints that kept me from enjoying myself.
After a few years of “freedom” I started to realize that it wasn’t what I had imagined it would be. When it came down to it, I wasn’t truly happy. What we as human beings view as success really doesn’t measure up. There are persons that have the house, the car, a well paying job, they travel, are in relationships, whether dating or married, and still aren’t happy.
I remember being frustrated with my life as it was and saying there has got to be more to this journey called life. The highs that I had been experiencing were fleeting. And so I really started to give serious thought to my life and the decisions I had been making.
Eventually an unfair situation at work fueled my decision to quit my job and this resulted in two years of unemployment. During that time, I was driven to a place where I really started to pay attention to the spiritual aspect of my life and so I started to seek God’s help.
This was no different to the usual. Get myself in a rut. Ask God to help me out. God helped me. Get back to “enjoying life”. Get in another rut. Ask God for help again. He delivered again. You get the drift. A cycle that was so unfair to a loving God that never failed me. It was time to break that cycle. It was time to make God a daily part of my life instead of my help hotline.
That was about six years ago and today the only regret that I have is not surrendering my life to God sooner. This doesn’t mean that I am perfect but that I am so flawed that I can’t go a day without Him. This doesn’t mean that my life is without challenges but I get through them with less anxiety knowing that I will walk away with wisdom that I wouldn’t have attained had there been a smooth road. This doesn’t make me better than the person that hasn’t yet surrendered their life but makes me pray even harder that they would by God’s grace, discover that there really is more!