Insight · journey

Don’t Take It Personal

There are times when another person’s behavior towards us can leave us feeling blindsided and we can find ourselves feeling clueless, upset or maybe even enraged. One time too many this has been an experience of mine.

As a little girl my father always advised that if there was a conflict I should first take a look at myself and seek out if there was any fault on my end before placing blame. Instead of finding a healthy balance I think that I always automatically felt like I was in some way the proximate cause.

This overflowed into adulthood but recently though, I have come to an amazing and extremely enlightening realization that even if I am at fault, I hold no responsibility for the other person’s behavior towards me.

Sometimes we offend others and on the flipside there are times when we are the ones bearing the offense. But how we handle our hurt or disappointment speaks volumes on the level of maturity that we’re operating at.

I always say that hurt people hurt people. If you give some thought to this and pair it with some of your past experiences, you would better understand that situation that may have previously left you feeling confused. That person may have blown the situation way out of proportion because of hurt feelings and the inability to properly process the same.

We sometimes think that because we are “grown” that we have it altogether and unfortunately this is also our perception of others. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. We usually operate in mediocrity until we learn “better” for when we know better then we are then able to do better.

I have come to find that a person’s behavior towards me usually has absolutely nothing to do me but everything to do with them. This understanding not only fosters compassion and places everything into perspective but safeguards against a ton of offense and hurt feelings.

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